When This is all Over (Send me Nudes)

As you will no doubt be aware by now I am a Very Serious Songwriter, and his song tackles some pretty weighty themes.


When this is all over send me nudes
I’d like to see your bum please
I’d like to see your boobs

When everything’s blown over and there’s time
If you ask me nicely
I might even show you mine

Lift up your dress
Pull down your tights
Make sure the lighting is just right
Be careful that I can’t see your face
Cos these are the strangest of days
And though I seem OK
Who knows what’ll happen at the end of day?
I say I’ll delete them
But you’ll never know
Cos at the end of the day
I’m just a bloke on your phone

And when this is all over you’ll feel weird
But you know what people say
Don’t trust strange men with beards


I’ve had a thing I do on Twitter when occasionally I’ll post a picture of me with a guitar and a caption such as “I’d like to dedicate this next to you. It’s call I Liked All Your Selfies But You Never Like Me” or somesuch.

While sat in the car park one night (don’t ask) I thought I’d carry out the threat. So that’s it. And goodness knows I need some light, brainless relief right now.