Hi. Hello. How are you? I supposed you’re wondering why I’ve brought you all here today. The answer is simple. I have written a song for you. Now it is still an inchoate mess, but it’s close enough to the finishing line for me to be done with it for a while. So, have a listen, check out the (many many) words and I’ll tell you all about it if you’re still here in 10 minutes.
Lyrics
Well I found out I had a date with death
So I straightened my tie and freshened my breath
Put on some cologne and flattened out my hair do
But when Death came knocking at the door
He looked so worn out – he nearly fell on the floor
I said “are you alright?” and he said “Not much better than you, son.”
So I sat him down, and I brought him a glass
He stared into his drink as the minutes ticked past
He sighed and said: “Son, I’ve been doing this for such a long time.”
So he set aside his sickle and his mantle of fear
And we sat for a minute while he sipped at his beer
I said “how about a deal? You cut me slack for an evening?”
And I said “One more drink and I’ll be ready to die,
A scotch on the rocks so I can leave on a high
Fetch me a glass and I promise that I will go quietly”
He said “One more beer and I’ll be taking your soul,
I work against the clock but no one need know,
Between you and I as long as we’re finished by midnight
I’ll be taking your soul tonight“
So we stepped into the bar with one eye on the clock
He rapped his knuckles on the bar with a skeletal knock
And the bar fell quiet as he coughed and he asked for service
“He’ll have a scotch, and I’ll have beer”
The barman shook and nodded, nearly spilled them in fear.
One turned to two and before we knew it, it was midnight
I said “I’ll drink to you and I’ll drink to your
health,
But I think you’ll find out it’s already past twelve,”
And he looked at his watch while I chuckled and drained my whiskey
“I played the game, but you set the rules
I won fair and square, made you a fool,
You work against the clock and you have to be finished by midnight
And you won’t be taking my soul tonight”
And I looked at Death, and Death looked at me
And – I’ll be honest – I thought I’d had had the last laugh
But he just winked and threw his head back in glee
Shouted at the skies “At last I am free!”
And he faded from this world
And so I looked down and found his scythe in my hand
And now I… had become Death
Well I found out that he’d cheated on me
He’d locked me in shackles his and set himself free
And now I’m destined to roam this world for a long time
Now I’ve been knocking on everyone’s door
For two hundred years, maybe less maybe more
And tonight my friend I’m afraid it’s your turn
So have one more drink and you’ll be ready to die
A scotch on the rocks so you can leave on a high
I’ll fetch you a glass and I promise that you can go quietly
One more drink – the last in this life
Then I’m afraid you’ll go under the scythe
I work against the clock and I have to be finished by midnight
And I’ll be taking your soul tonight
So. What’s all that about then?
Fucked if I know.