The Loneliest Robot (Odyssey Edition)

Well here we are again. Another day, another song. Actually this is, partly, a song I wrote a while ago. I wrote in March that I had a bigger vision for it, and now that vision has come to badly-recorded, ill-conceived life. There is no less than 9 minutes and 22 seconds of it to sit through, although I don’t imagine anyone will, seeing as barely anyone can be arsed sticking around for even 3 minutes. See what you think though, if you’ve got the time.


Do you remember how we said goodbye? 
The songs you made. Fanfares. Parades. 
The tears that pricked your eyes 
The sky was blue and infinite the day 
We went our separate ways 

Soaring past the outer atmosphere 
Carrying your hopes and dreams 
And secretly your fears 
I hurtled up into the void beyond 
The world that where we belong 

Now I’m the loneliest robot this side of the sun 
And I’m just sending out signals – hoping they’ll get to someone 
But the skies have long since fallen into quiet 
I hope that you’re alright 
Cos I’d really like to see you once again 
You who that gave me life and chose my name 
I hope that you’re OK? 

Now the sun’s a pinprick in the sky 
Dusty pinks, in shrouded hues 
The years go ticking by 
Sending out my messages each day 
I wonder what they say 

Finally, the light is fading now 
The final backup drawing near 
I’ll cross the line somehow 
And wait forever underneath the dust 
Like we always knew I must 

Now I’m the loneliest robot this side of the sun 
And I’m just sending out signals – hoping they’ll get to someone 
But the skies have long since fallen into quiet 
I hope that you’re alright 

But the loneliest robot wasn’t done. As the years passed in their slow, cosmic majesty, and the stars crossed the heavens in the long alien nights, the loneliest robot gathered her strength, thinking about the fragile blue-green globe that hung out there somewhere in the velvet black void. And every day, the loneliest robot grew a little bit stronger, feeding from the cold rays of the distant sun, until she was ready… ready to go home… 

The skies are almost empty here 
The sun’s a baleful ball 
The oceans echo to the sound of 
Nothing much at all 
And you who gave me life 
Threw it all away 
I wish I’d stayed at home among the stars….


I’ve said a few times over the years that my heart belongs to the 3 minute pop song – but as I’ve aged, and written literally hundreds of 3 minute pop songs, I find myself branching out a little for the sake of variety. And quite possibly because I’ve regained a taste for musical adventure that was slowly strangled while I was playing in a pub rock covers band.

The first third – the most normal ‘song’ part – was written over a couple of days in April, and while I loved it as a song, the lyrical theme suggested to me a much bigger narrative than could be contained in 3 minutes, which resulted in the addition of the second bit – where I got my daughter to tell a further part of the story.

While I was happy with this, I’d already got more bits planned, but my impulse was just to get it out as it was because it sounded pretty good to me and I wanted people to hear it (a foolish errand, because nobody wants to hear any of this shit really).

But ever since I have been quietly working on the remaining sections. My real problem is that while all this digital recording malarkey frees me up in most ways, it also hampers me.

If I had a band, I would be able find a natural way to interlink the sections – which vary in tempo and pitch throughout. But in GarageBand, you are tied to a grid system, meaning that even a change in tempo means recording a completely separate track… and there is no obvious way to move from one to the other without filling the space with some spooky keyboards. It’s a tiny bit annoying, but on the other hand I can’t really imagine trying to work out an arrangement for a band and forcing them to learn it. Not that it matters because I am a miserable, hateful cunt who deservedly lost his band many years back.

Anyway. I’m writing a blog post that nobody will read about a song nobody will listen to. I should probably get dressed.